Discovering Freedom & Joy Through Recovery:
Why It’s Not the End but the Beginning
The journey of recovery is often framed as a sacrifice—giving something up, saying no, walking away. But in my life, I’ve found it’s quite the opposite. Over four decades of living clean, I’ve learned that this path isn’t about loss. It’s about freedom, joy, and the chance to finally live fully.
When I came into the rooms of AA at 20 years old, I was broken and hollow. I didn’t think I’d make it to 30. Growing up between two brothers in a home marked by alcoholism and co-dependency, I learned to survive by looking good on the outside while dying inside. I was taught that to be seen, I had to achieve something—that just being me wasn’t enough. By the time I walked into my first meeting, I was exhausted from trying to compete with active addiction for scraps of attention.
It was an addiction counselor named Howard S. (God bless him) who introduced me to Step 1. I’ll never forget sitting in his office—pregnant from a blackout, lost, and utterly confused—as he told me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. That was the beginning of a design for living that has carried me through every season since.
Finding Purpose Beyond the Struggle
Sobriety has gifted me with mornings free from shame and nights free from regret. Knowing where I parked my car, remembering what I said, and waking up without the fog became luxuries I once thought impossible. With clarity comes presence—the ability to live in the moment, show up for my life, and embrace even its challenges as opportunities to grow.
Relationships, too, were transformed. No longer hiding, I became capable of listening, showing up, and loving with honesty. Authentic connection replaced fragile façades. Family, friendships, and community became grounded in truth, not in the lies I once told myself or others.
Joy arrived in unexpected ways. Laughing until my sides hurt, watching the sunrise with hope, feeling my heart beat strong on a long walk—these moments, small as they seem, became evidence that life was worth living. They were vivid, unfiltered, and alive in a way I never knew when I was chasing escape.
Over the years, I’ve learned that this path is not about perfection, but about progress. I’ve stumbled, cried, and questioned. But each time, grace showed up. I discovered that resilience comes from vulnerability, from being willing to trust a power greater than myself, even when I didn’t believe I deserved that level of care.
Looking back at 40 years of sobriety, I see more than abstinence. I see transformation. I see the courage to step into dreams, the wisdom to embrace imperfection, and the strength to live with meaning. What felt like the end at 20 became the beginning of everything.
This is not just survival. This is life, fully lived.
Want Guidance on Your Own Journey?
I know firsthand how overwhelming the early days can feel. That’s why I dedicate my work to guiding others to find their own freedom and joy.
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Brenda Heckes, CPRC, ACC, CPC.
“Real talk. Real healing. Real freedom.”